THANKKEW my dear dear Xue Yi for changing my skin for the third time. & if I didn't grace you with a post, I know you'll be after me with kitchen knives ready to kill. (So when I am murdered in bed, readers of this post, bear witness. You know who!) LOL. A Biggie thank you from me. So i'm posting. Oh, and dear? Leave the knives at home please.

Okay, it's been AGES since I last posted. I decided to revamp this thing. And no, Hoe Kang, I am not kidnapped. I was sent to St. Magaret's scool for the mentally ill. I just sneaked out! Don't mind me, while I pick out cooties in my blouse. I am told that there's lot's of them up my hair. There! Another one out! Oh, no, you little tweet! Don't run away! Okay, then. Run away for all I care! Goodness knows you'll be back to help me with my tea! We can have those lovely mudpies together.
The birds have been lovely too. They flew me here!
Okay, Mudpies, I know you're jealous. You're still the loveliest.

NOW. Be serious! Yes. Sit up straight. You! Yes. Go on. Cootie no. 1. Sit up. There! Wasn't that difficult, eh?
Was seriously bored & numerous people been asking me to post.
Here are a few things I found relatively interesting & wanna share with the ones still reading this post up till here. I was certain most would switch off after the first paragraph. :D

How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity:

1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with your sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at cars. See if they slow down.

2. Everytime someone askes you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

3. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

4. Put a trashcan on your desk and label it 'IN.'

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks, and when everyone is over his/her caffine addiction, switch to espresso.

6. Finish all your sentences with,"...in accordance with the prophecy."

7. Don't use punctuation.

8. As often as possible, skip instead of walk.

9. Ask people what sex they are, and then laugh hysterically when they answer.

10. Specify your drive-thru order as 'to go.'

11. Sing along at the opera.

12. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

13. Put misquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

14. Five minutes in advance, tell your friend you can't come to their party because you don't feel like it.

15. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream," I WON! I WON! I WON! Third time this week!!!"

16. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling,"Run for your lives! They're loose!"

Funny Things:

Isn't having a smoking section in a resturant like having a peeing section in the pool?

I live in my own little world, but it's okay. They know me there.

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

After all is said and done, more is said than done.

I am nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore, I am perfect.

Everyday, I beat my previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.

Middle age is when you buy the cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

Eagles may soar, but weasles don't get sucked into jet engines.

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

Haha. Loved those in bold & italics.. I'll explain the one on shin though. Shin is the front part of the legs below the knee. Hurts most when kicked. & it is usually your shin getting hit by furnitures when groping in the dark, hence the best device for finding furnitures. More like they keep coming to you. Now I shall bid goodbye & not keep you waiting any longer in the company of my humbled presence. Shouldn't keep my darling the Earthworm waiting. He is a dear.
Adious!

Labels: INSANITY beyond the twisted kingdom

Blogged @ 9:47 AM
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